I have a temper...
I would not say I am proud of it. I suppose many of us lose our heads every once in a while.
We recently went through an issue on our house project where I indeed, lost my cool. I was nervous about the project anyway and when it went south I got very angry in a way I suppose I am not proud of. Why? Well, because anger really does no ever actually get you anywhere, at least not anywhere good. I know this, but a reminder as to why it is important to focus on inner peace is always helpful. (Read about the project gone array.)
1. you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar...
or is it flies? In any case, this has always been a favorite saying of mine just because I have to remind myself of it all the time. You can be direct and steadfast without necessarily being grouchy, mean or angry (the vinegar). Being sweet (like honey) even if you are direct will get you often much farther. People are way more apt to want to work with you if you are nice about it. Often, when we turn on the mean, others dig in their heels and it turns people away that might otherwise go out of their way for you.
2. Losing your cool will bring you nothing but regret...
no one feels good after they have lost their mind. Replaying a moment in your mind when you lost your temper never makes us feel better about where we are currently at, but the regret is inevitable. James 1:19-20 ...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
3. What this anger leads to is burning bridges...
when you lose your temper and you gain a reputation for being a hot head so many doors that could swing open may end up slamming closed. You end killing future opportunities that could change your life for the better. In addition, if you have lost your temper on someone the chances of that person really ever forgiving and forgetting, well we can never expect someone to fully trust again once trust is broken. It may not be in them to forgive or forget. By losing your temper you just burned a bridge that may in the future have taken you somewhere you have really wanted to go.
4. We are all battling our battles- give each other a break
in losing our temper we may have really upset the person on the other side of the anger. Did they deserve it? How are we suppose to know where their lives are currently? That individual that you lost your temper on may have a sick mother, and ill spouse or troubled child. They may have a headache themselves, been burned by a good friend, just lost their favorite dog. Who knows. The point is we have no idea what afflictions someone else may be going through. It is not our right to judge someone else for their behavior when we have no idea of the situation they are in. Be patient with people. We are not in control of their situation, their reactions, or their circumstance. "How people treat you is their karma; How you react is yours," Wayne Dyer.
5. Zapping your internal Zen
getting upset and reacting poorly will often do nothing to better the situation, in fact, often it will do the opposite. Allowing that bad vibe to take over your brain will only bring you to a negative place, and isn't our goal to be mentally zen, to be happy? Why would we let this useless emotion that does not serve to better your life rob you of the self-betterment you have done. Why would we let this emotion that will get us nowhere take away our happiness? Don't let it! Giving in to this feeling that has no place in our happy lives sets us back on our path to happiness and contentment. Giving in will not make a better you. Develop self-control.
6. The masters of faith
have you ever heard the story of Jesus losing his mind on the people who mocked him? What about the story of Yogananda, beginning a rant of yelling during a yoga session? Because they don't exist. These who lived on this Earth that we are to learn from did not show us an example of how to get mad and get even, throw a fit and scream and cuss. No!- they instead showed us how to keep calm in the face of adversity, forgive those who know not better and speak from a calm heart. An angry man is not a rational man, and angry man is not a man in control. Those who have set examples for us to follow in a faithful, and loving way through life gave us examples of how to do the exact opposite of losing our temper, calm, love, and forgiveness with peace in our hearts at ALL times.